| ● When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down. ● There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. ● Rajinikanth can divide by zero. ● Rajinikanth can judge a book by its cover. ● Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. ● Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. ● Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. ● Rajinikanth can make onions cry. ● Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise. ● Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. ● Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. ● Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. ● Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there is no sign of life there. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. ● When you say ‘no one is perfect’, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. ● Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. ● Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. ● Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. ● Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. ● In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself. ● When Rajinikanth is asked to kill someone he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out. ● Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. ● There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. ● Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. ● Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird. ● Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. ● Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile. ● Rajinikanth can drown a fish. ● Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. ● Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it. ● Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. ● The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. ● Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. ● Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 Minutes in 20 minutes. ● Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. ● Rajinikanth did, in fact, build Rome in a day. ● Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. ● Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. ● Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. ● Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa. ● Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man. ● Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. ● Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter. ● Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. ● Rajinikanth can handle the truth. ● Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. ● Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. ● The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. ● Rajinikanth can lick his elbows. ● Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. ● Rajinikanth does not get frostbite. Rajinikanth bites frost. ● Rajinikanth got his drivers licence at the age of 16 seconds. ● The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajinikanth. He cheats and fools death everyday. ● Rajinikanth can give pain to painkillers and headache to Anacin. ● Rajinikanth knows what women really want. ● Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. ● As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. ● Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhary’s. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths. ● To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. ● The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist. ● Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. ● Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”. ● Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. ● Rajinikanth is a champion in the game hide--seek, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth. ● Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. ● Rajinikanth is a weapon created by god to use on doomsday to end the world. ● Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. ● Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. ● When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the world economy. ● Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. ● Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. | 
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